The Alienation of POC Women from Feminine Spaces
written on 07/02/2023
Since the dawn of the internet there have been plenty of spaces online dedicated to what could be described as hyperfeminine aesthetics. Many women dream of being able to dress all in pastels, lace, and flowing dresses, and this has come to manifest in several communities dedicated to fashion, decor, and images that express this.
However, like many spaces dedicated to femininity, these spaces tend to suffer from one major flaw: they glorify whiteness as the standard for appearance, and as a result alienate poc in the process.
It's no secret that the default in many spaces is to uplift white features while viewing darker skin, textured hair, and poc facial features as less desirable. However, this is especially noticeable in spaces like this. Here, the most popular images tend to be ones of very thin girls with pale skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes. It's an aesthetic that many openly strive for, trying to transform themselves into the perfect image of pale, blonde, and thin, automatically associating it with being delicate and sweet.
As a result, black and brown girls that try to enter these spaces are often met with the same comments.
"You would look so much better if you were butch."
"Those colors don't suit you, you should try something darker."
"Have you tried something more masculine?"
In spaces where whiteness is seen as the peak performance of femininity, people who don't fit that standard are then forcefully masculinized to show they don't belong.
When I was a child, like many girls my age growing up in Japan, I was obsessed with the magazine fruits. There, I saw so many women and girls with bright, frilly, feminine outfits expressing themselves openly. To me, who had always been limited to subdued, "modest" clothing and colors, this was what I wanted to be some day.
However, when I expressed this to my peers, I was very often met with the same sentiment.
"You wouldn't suit that kind of thing. You should try something different."
As someone with darker skin, curlier hair, and bigger features than my classmates, I was considered out of the standard for feminine alternative fashion. This only became more evident when I hit puberty, and my developing masculine features combined with my interest in feminine things was seen as a threat by others around me.
However, as an adult, things have changed somewhat. I have finally embraced a love for hyperfeminine fashion and have been able to deck myself out with frills, lace, and jewels like I always wanted to as a child - and I want to encourage others to do the same.
You are not lesser or less feminine because of your race, regardless of the standard in spaces centered around femininity. You have as much a right to that world as anyone else, and you are beautiful in a feminine identity as you are. I encourage you to embrace that about yourself, and to hold your head high regardless of others' comments.
Whiteness will never be a fair standard, and everyone deserves to be able to embrace the clothing and identity they want. A space of acceptance regardless of appearance is a space of beauty, and I hope that with time more and more poc girls will be able to feel welcome in their own feminine interests.
